When I landed in Mumbai roughly fourteen years ago, I was lost. Lost and scared. The first thing that greeted me, were posters splashed across the city, with ‘Mi Mumbaikar‘ (I’m a resident of Mumbai) written in red. Whatever Dilliwaala bravado that I may have claimed to possess, evaporated. I felt as if it was a way of telling me, I didn’t belong here…… As if these posters were asking me to leave.
If it wasn’t for my MD, I would have probably taken the next train back. However, I did make a mental note to do just that, the moment my studies got over. Fate however had other plans for me. Cupid struck and I was stuck in the city, for better or worse…… and my best laid plans were laid to rest.
Today that I pack my bags to leave this city, it tugs at me and wouldn’t let me go. As I look back I can say this city taught me a lot of things. Here in no particular order is some of the stuff Mumbai taught me, sometimes against my will (one for every year of my stay)
1. Let there be peace
This one exasperated me in the beginning. No one seemed to want to fight. Initially I thought what wimps they were or were they just too lazy. Come to Delhi, and I’ll show you what a good fight is. Over time I realised that they knew something I didn’t, at that time at least. I admit that this seemingly chaotic city has paradoxically made me calmer.
2. If it is to be its up to me
I have witnessed a deluge, train blasts and a terrorist attack during my stay here, not counting the yearly monsoon travails and the occasional stampedes. Every single time, the city comes together on the streets to help out those in need. The administration will take its sweet time but you will see make shift shelters in areas of worship, schools and similar institutions. What keeps them motivated, God only knows but this spirit rubs on to you and before long you find yourself opening your hearts and the doors to your home to total strangers.
3. Chalta hai
Again, a tough lesson for a control freak like me. Never mistake it for lackadaisical attitude. It only means take life in your stride and things will fall in place.
4. Work ethics
If you have worked here once, you would find it tough to work in any other city of the country, if I may daresay. The kind of professionalism and the willingness to work as a team is exemplary which any number of soft skill workshops just cannot teach you. If your cook tells you she’ll be there at 6 in the morning, choose to believe her. And don’t expect too much small talk because she’ll have committed the next slot to another household.
5. Less gas more content
More or less a continuation of the above point but it’s a trait that cuts across all strata and boundaries. As outsiders we may find their no-nonsense attitude very dry but when they deliver the goods, you have no reason to complain.
6. Humour
Ah…. humour here is all pervading and you’ll find all genres- slapstick to wit, from dark to self-deprecating and from observational to wry humour. And this humour is protective in a lot of ways to help survive in this tough city. If you don’t find your funny bone soon enough, you risk ending up in a grumpy, dark corner.
7. No strangers here, only friends we haven’t met. Friends for life
Everywhere you go, there is a sea of humanity but you wouldn’t experience any stranger anxiety provided you remember to smile. Smile and you are smiled back. I have used this trick countless times and it has never failed me. Try smiling at your co commuters in the train for a week in a row, and you’ll find yourself sharing their dabba on the eighth day. This is a city that has a subset of friends called ‘train friends’. These are the co commuters who travel with you back and forth, who start with sharing their seat and dabbas and end up sharing their lives with you. And no, they don’t unfriend you if you leave their lair and take another route. They refer you to that slot of train friends who happily adopt you with that recommendation
I always believed that the older you grow, the more difficult it is to make true friends. This city proved me wrong with the number of friends it has given me. In crisis I have unabashedly looked up to them with the instinctive confidence that they have my back.
8. Never judge a book by its cover
I lose count of the number of times I have made the mistake of jumping to conclusions about people based on their appearance, clothes or language and more often than not I have ended up embarrassing myself. I distinctly remember the deluge of July 2005, when my train came to a halt in between Matunga and Sion. The thought of stepping down in the murky waters was not my idea of adventure. Out of nowhere these Dharavi slum dwellers materialised with step stools and literally held out their hands to help us land safely on our feet. On top of that they gave us food packets to survive the long walk home. I hope I have learnt my lesson well.
9. A little adjustment goes a long way
Madam ‘thoda adjust please’ (Please adjust a bit). On a local, when someone poked into my back and said that for the first time, I looked aghast and shocked at the suggestion. In that packed train where was the room to adjust. But everyone stared back at me as if this was the most regular of requests. I shuffled a bit and that is how the entity called ‘fourth seat’ was revealed to me. A train seat meant for three accommodates four. So now every time I see someone approaching, I automatically shuffle to leave room enough for her. Even the Lord Ganesha has to adjust for this city, I’m a mere mortal. During Ganpati festival, the idol is supposed to face in a particular direction. So, depending upon the makeshift pandals, the idol’s angle is adjusted accordingly.
10. Rain and the romance
This city loves its rain. The demand and supply rule of economics fails here. Despite the pouring rain and slowing down of the city’s pace, no one blames the rain. Instead they plan ‘rainy picnics’. Check out your Mumbai friends’ social media page and at this time of the year you’ll find it inundated with soaked happy faces with the rain and rolling mist as a backdrop. Romance thrives but a word of caution, remember to look up and not down. Because if you did, it runs the risk of evaporating.
11. Less is more
Their houses may be small but not their hearts. I remember when I moved in, I used to feel caged and crave for a glimpse of the sky but now when I go back home the houses in Gurugram seem to have an obscene amount of space. This city makes you embrace its shortfalls with ease.
12. Meditation andNirvana
You don’t need vipassana or spiritual retreats to meditate and achieve Nirvana. It comes to you naturally. It may take a while but the traffic snarls, the potholes and the water logging ensure that it will happen.
13. Time is money
There is an inherent discipline in every individual. A 7.41 local means 7.41. Yes, yes, I know, Ek jayegi to doosri aayegi may be true, but no one will tell you that thedoosri would be more crowded than the first one. And a delay anywhere has a cascading effect on the rest of your day. So, you have no choice but to be disciplined.
14. This city never sleeps
Its not an aphorism but a fact. The city’s wheels are always whirring. The last local is often around two in the night and the first one is at four or five in the morning. Those few hours it may shift gears but stops it never.
I know this sounds like too good to be true but it definitely doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with the city. It evokes strong emotions in its citizens. You either love it or hate it. There may be a lot of flaws but to retain your OWN sanity focus on the positive aspects which are many. This city has made me drop a lot of my cynicism and if I may say has made me a better version of myself.
As I bid good bye to the city, I admit, Mumbai wasn’t love at first sight, not even second. It took me a while to take to its ways and I can say that Mumbai is an acquired taste for me. This city MADE me fall in love with it and before I leave, let me introduce myself……
mi kon (who am I?) ……
……….. Mi Mumbaikar